I was never one for fancy words
or cute rhymes. Just the aching
tones of my heart, were the words I
spoke. I spoke them so loud for you to
hear. But then I realized that no one
was really listening.
Hurt I drew into myself and I learned
the gift and curse of silence. The gift
was I learned so much about people by
watching. I learn so much about you by
watching. But the curse was silence brought
on the invisibility cloak and soon, no one
not even me...could see myself.
The only sign of my existence was on those
cold winter days when i breathed out and
you saw my breathe appear in the cold air
small wisps of life that soon disappeared.
I went along my quiet way, making my way
through these hardships and trials I never
once asked your help. I trusted others and
they hurt me to.
Now you stand there and tell me I am heartless!
You stand there and say I need to believe that
you care or that they care. But you don't know
me! You never knew me, you don't know the demons
I fought, the battles I lost, the scars I carry.
You don't know....because you never cared. To you
I never meant anything at all.So excuse me for
being careful, excuse me for being fearful!
In case you didn't know....I hurt to.
I don't hate you, I don't judge you, but don't
accuse me of being critical, don't accuse me
of being close minded. Because all of my life
I have never been those things. But now I am
cautious, you can't blame me after all the battles
I've fought, oh yeah...you weren't there...so you
wouldn't know would you?
So all you can do is blame me, because that's just
your way. It always has been, you blamed me for
everything. But oh I was quick to forgive, look
at yourself, you were never quick to trust or love
for that matter. How you treated me when we knew
each other so well, you treated me as if I walked
around with a large knife in my hand preparing to
stab you. But sad to say, you were the one to do
the stabbing.
But you wouldn't know, you see I hide that scar to
the few who know ask how did I survive these cuts
and wounds and I tell them that the Lord almighty
reached his hand down and comforted me and healed me
he knows every scar, he know every dirty secret he knows
me. In the way that you don't know me, because your to
into yourself. Always into yourself, but yet I feel sorry
for you. So for you I hide what you did, and for me, for
that one thing I do for me...I hide my mistakes, i hide my
faults, I hide my scars, behind the scene's because if you knew
friend...you'd never care at all.
And yet...maybe you never did...
