Layers. Layers are what I've created to hide me.
I've carefully constructed each one to protect the other.
I find walls are easily broken so I created layers.
Like paint, you just paint over and over and over again.
And eventually there is little to no hope of ever seeing the
original construction beneath.
I'm not completely hopeless at least i don't think I am. I
figured oh hey someday someone will peel them back and it'll
all be okay.
What I didn't expect was for them to be torn off at once.
One moment I'm fully concealed in my little picture and the next
I'm pulled out into the light and the layer begin to fall off.
As God tears these layers off I begin to grow weak. I begin to
cry. I begin to see light and it hurts.
My heart and soul are so sore. My physical body feels weak.
You are finally fet up with my charade, my selfishness.
The things I do to hide everything so I won't hurt.
I should have never questioned you. I should have never hidden myself.
From you or anyone else. But I was so scared. Now I'm really scared.
Because now it hurts, now it stings and burns and aches, and I cannot
fix or hide it. Nothing will numb it. My charade and my colors were all
I had to feel safe.
But safety is not your style, comfort isn't your way. Bringing me back
to who I once was. Who I've always been. I knew deep inside I was alive
I just couldn't fix it myself.
Everyday is a reminder of everything I've done. Everything I've destroyed
everything I hid deep inside.
Now I'm lost I don't know what to do. And I am so vulnerable that I am terrified.
The layers are peeling,
my feelings are fleeting.
And I'm pleading for you to stop.
Christa
I drift on your ocean floor, I feel weightless numb and sore ~Switchfoot
