I don't

I don't go to sleep without saying
I miss you.
I don't go to sleep without saying
I wish you, were here.
I don't go to sleep without saying
I love you.
I don't go to sleep without saying
I need you.

I don't go to sleep without saying
I'll pray for you
I don't go to sleep without saying
Where are you?
I don't go to sleep without saying
I'll dream about you.
I don't go to sleep without asking
do you miss me?

I have never even met you! but I
sure do miss you. I want to know
your name, I want to know your
life. I want to know what your
about. I want to know what you fear
and what you love.
I'm not dumb I promise, I would
never admit to dreaming. It seems
so childish. But sadly I do, I
can't help it.

I try so hard to ignore it but
I simply cannot. I find ways to
not think about it but they don't
last.
My mind soon strays back again.
It's so frustrating, because it
weighs my heart down so much.
But alas no matter how hard I
try. I cannot get you off my mind

Dear Lord. I pray, protection for
you, and I pray protection for me
so we both survive these fires.
Once again I'm going to sleep,
my thoughts travel from my prayers
to you. I wish I knew your name
I close my eyes and imagine, but no
picture appears

And this pleases me because It makes
the wait easier.
Goodnight.

One more thing.
I won't forget you.

I argue with myself...

She walked in the room, it was quiet the
lights are turned down low.
She sits down and opens her book and begins
to read quietly to herself.
"hey there" the voice whispers in her ear.
She shakes her head and ignores it.
"Oh come now talk to me" it says now much louder.
She slams the book down in frustration.
"What do you want?!" she said getting
up and staring at the ceiling.
The voice chuckled from the darkest corner of the room.
"Oh you know
what I want, I'm just here to give you a little perspective"
it said with laughter in the background.


"I Don't want to talk to you" she stated flatly.
A loud laugh echoed
through the room, "Oh but of course you don't...and
yet here I am" it said with
an annoying smile. She sighed.
"So tell me, the voice said smoothly sliding up to her ear,
why are you trying so hard to not think about it?"
"Because I don't want to! she seethed,
I just want to think about something else
I want to feel ok again" she sighed.


"But you will never feel okay again!
the voice insisted, It's not about you!" it stated.
"I know! she yelled back, It's never been about me!
I have served every part of my heart to people
on a platter, I have been there, stood there
taking all the blows
for everyone without once thinking about myself!
But now I just want to preserve
whats left of me" she sighed.
The voice slid back into the darkness,

"Ah I see, I see, but yet in your heart you
really want to, its just the scars telling you
not to take a chance this time,
but your heart wants to reach out so bad,
but everything else tells you that maybe
you should be selfish...just this once and save yourself"
She nodded tears falling down her face.
"But won't you lose more of
yourself if you turn your back now?"
she shook her head thinking. "Who are you?" she asked.
"Why do you always come?"
"Are you the demon who runs me into these walls,
I reach out to help and I end
up being the one who falls, or are you my angel
telling me to follow my heart?


Because quite frankly I never can tell,
your so....confusing!!!"
The voice was very quiet for several minutes,
when it spoke again she heard
the tears in its soft flowing voice.
"I am your heart, I am your mind, I am you.
I am who you really are
the one who says to risk it all because
it's worth it! But you never listen to
me!" "We both have been hurt but we are hurt
together, never once have I led you
the wrong way, but your so stubborn you won't
listen to me and you never admit
that I am right in the end" the voice sighed.
"You don't believe that the words "I love you"
are real because you have never seen anyone
acutally say them, so you believe that it's all
lost, so run"

She sat there head bowed looking at her hands.
"I'm tired of hurting, she whispered, I want
to believe you so bad sometimes but,
its to much for me to believe"
The voice grew into a soft whisper,
"Ah yes, the infamous you, you run from it all
your far to afraid to face it so you run,
oh boy do you run. You lost yourself in your
search to find...something else to hide behind...
and in the process you lost me"

She shook her head, "Your a liar! I know you are,
I'm better off without you!" she turned her face
to her hands and wept bitterly, only no tears
came from her eyes.
"Then why do you wish me back when you push me away!
You are not heartless, because I am still here.
As much as you want to me to leave sometimes
I cannot because you want me more then anything
else in the world, I belong to you I will not
leave but I will be silent for you....for now"
the voice's tones faded into the dark.

She sank to the ground and listened,
"don't go...." she whispered.
"I'm still here," the voice said sidling
up beside her. She shook her head
a single tear slid down her face.
"I'm not crazy, she whispered, I might talk to
myself but I'm not crazy"

"I know, the voice said sadly, your just alone"

She bowed her head and sighed, the voice
went into silence once more and the shadows
grew longer.



"When the room clears, I'm still here.
Who am I, when I'm alone?"

Rest...

Hey, where have you been?
Where did you go looking for innocence?
Shame is holding you down, selling you out
Won't you come back again?



'Cause you've found a way
To go on for days pretending to live
But you are not okay with all of that weight
You need to give up


Come now, just let it go
Let it fall down, let it all flow like
The water that's rushing in over your soul '
til there's nothing left
Won't you come to me and rest?


Hey, I know that you're scared to look in my eyes
When you know that something's wrong
I'll wait as long as it takes
For you to find grace, it's been here all along



'Cause you've found a way
To go on for days pretending to live
But you are not okay with all of that weight
You need to give up


Come now, just let it go
Let it fall down, let it all flow like
The water that's rushing in over your soul '
til there's nothing left
Won't you come to me?


As you are, dirty and broken
With all your scars from all the unspoken
With all the words that you wanted to say
But you locked them away inside



Come now, just let it go
Let it fall down, let it all flow like
The water that's rushing in over your soul
'til there's nothing left



Won't you come to me and rest?

NevertheLess-Rest

Betrayel

You were the one person I would have trusted
I almost did, I watched you from afar just
to be sure, that I could trust you.

You almost had me, the things you did
the way you treated me made me believe
you truly cared. But I learned that the
people who promise to never hurt you
are always the ones who do.

You betrayed me, you accused me of
things I didn't commit. I am many
things but I am not the things you
accused me of simply because I do
not know how to be that person.

You used me for entertainment and
tore me apart when I tried to care
but you didn't even try to repair.
It made me angry once I discovered
your lies and deceits that you used
on me and I believed. I told you once
that I did not like to be deceived that
it made me feel stupid.

You swore you would never do it again, and yet
I come to find that you continued this torment
without my realization.

I once heard that if it doesn't break your heart
it isn't love.
I obviously never loved you friend because it doesn't
break my heart, it only angers me.
But if I would to have trusted anyone it would
have been you. But you ruined that, see if I ever
trust anyone ever again.

I don't hate you, but right now
I just don't like you.

Christa.

Death Of Me

I should have seen all the signs around me
But I was comfortable inside these walls
So go ahead and take another piece of me now
While we all bow down to you

You tear me down and then you pick me up
You take it all and still it's not enough
You try to tell me you can heal me
But I'm still bleeding and you will be the death of me

How can you know my affliction
If you're the sickness and not the cure
But too long I have faked this addiction
Another sacrifice will make us pure

You tear me down and then you pick me up
You take it all and still it's not enough
You try to tell me you can heal me
But I'm still bleeding and you will be the death of me



I won't forget, I cannot forget this
I won't forget, I'll never forget this

No, I can never prove this solution
You aren't the one that I thought you were
And so I learn to embrace this illusion
the line that seperates us starts to blur

You tear me down and then you pick me up
You take it all and still it's not enough
You try to tell me you can heal me
But I'm still bleeding and you will be the death of me
And you will be the death of me


I won't forget, I cannot forget this
And you will be the death of me


Death of Me-Red

I don't need a soul

I listen to the sirens as they sing me back to sleep
I pray that no one's seriously hurt
It feels like everything is dying
At the pivit point of me
I listen to the sirens tell me
Things could still be worse

because if you close yours eyes and listen close
You can hear the chapter close
And it's all rebound in better clothes
And you like the way this story goes

because the sun still burns the shadows out
And there's nothing to complain about now
because if this was our destiny and I'd treasure the fact
And I give you what's left of me if I held back

But, I don't need a soul
No, I don't need a soul to hold
Without you I'm still whole
You and life remain beautiful


Departing from the hospital
All news shows on your face too well
You're trying not to cough at all - it hurts
All options are exhausted
All your numbered days are numbered small
I miss you now, I loved you and I know
Things could still be worse

because if you close your eyes and listen close
You can hear the chapter close
And it's all rebound in better clothes
And you like the way this story goes

because the sun still burns the shadows out
And there's nothing to complain about now
because if this was our destiny and I'd treasure the fact
And I give you what's left of me if I held back


So no, I don't need a soul to hold
Without you I'm still whole



I Don't Need A Soul~Relient k

When I'm Alone

It's been years in the making
In my skin I am shaking from the cold
I am tired from the taking
And my heart it won't stop breaking and I know...
Moving forward can't be this hard

I'm still trying to find out
Who I am on my own
I had you right beside me
But now you're gone and I know
That when the room clears I'm still here
Who am I when I'm alone?

They say time is a healer
But it's more like a concealer for a scar
'Cause it never really leaves us
But it can always find us where we are
Who thought it could ever be so hard?

There's so much I should have said when time was wearing thin
You're not here but someday I know I'll see you again


I'm still trying to find out
Who I am on my own
I had you right beside me
But now you're gone and I know
That when the room clears I'm still here
Who am I when I'm alone?


That when the room clears I'm still here
Who am I when I'm alone?

When I'm Alone-NevertheLess

Recovery Begins

I talk, I talk too much
I never open up
To what You need to say
My words get in the way

I search for stillness
But worry kills it
I need to clear my head
I'm tired, I need to rest

It all comes down to this
The quiet in the end
I listen for Your voice
Recovery begins

The times I hear You most
Are when You bring me close
I'll follow as You guide
While darkness turns to light

Whisper to me, whisper to me


Recovery Begins-Fireflight

Remember Me

I looked in Your eyes and saw it for a moment
The passion in Your cry, the chains of life are broken
Put to death by Your people, You came to bring us life
Only hope for the hopeless, will You remember me?

I've been ashamed, I've been put down
Head in my hands, my life on the ground
Left Heaven to save liars and thieves
Sinners like me, Your blood sets us free
Who am I that You would remember me?

Spent all of my years stealing from the world
With everything I had and I was still so poor
You have everything to lose
But You're dying here with me
I believe, I believe, will You remember me?

I've been ashamed, I've been put down
Head in my hands, my life on the ground
Left Heaven to save liars and thieves
Sinners like me, Your blood sets us free
Who am I?

Take what I have left, my Savior
Take me with You from this cross
When I leave this life completely
Remember me



I've been ashamed and I've been put down
Head in my hands, my life on the ground
Left Heaven to save liars and thieves
Sinners like me, Your blood sets us free
Who am I that You would remember me?


Remember Me -Kutless

Desperate

Seek and you will find, they say
but I've been looking everyday,
for a way past this wall that's in front of my face.
I'm on hands and knees searching for my faith

I know there's so much at stake,
but I don't know if I can take one more
pat on the back saying I'll be okay
Can't you see my whole life is in disarray?

You've got me desperate.

I know You hear me,
Won't You give me a sign?
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands

You've got me desperate
do You see me?
Desperate
do You hear me?
Desperate
will You help me?
You've got me desperate

I know You're my only hope
The only One who truly knows how it feels,
what it's like when it all starts to fall
You're the One I can trust, who hears when I call.

You've got me desperate

I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign?
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands

You've got me desperate
do You see me?
Desperate
do You hear me?
Desperate
will You help me?
You've got me desperate



Some things I'll never figure out
Until I let hope erase my doubt

(You've got me desperate)

I know You hear me,
Won't You give me a sign
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand,
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands

Do you see me?
Do you hear me?
Will you help me?
You've got me desperate.

Desperate-Fireflight

Work

Just in case
I will leave my things packed
So I can run away
I cannot trust these voices

I don't have a line of prospects
That can give some kind of peace
There is nothing left to cling to
That can bring me sweet release

I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing,that's taking all this work

Do you know what I mean
When I say I don't wanna be alone?
What I mean when I say
I don't wanna be alone?


Empty spaces
Shadows hit by streetlights
With warning signs and weight
Of tired conversations

In the absence of a shoulder
In the abscess of a thief
On the brink of this destruction
On the eve of bittersweet

Now all the demons look like prophets
And I'm living out,every word they speak.
Every word they speak


Do you know what I mean
When I say I don't wanna be alone?
What I mean when I say
I don't wanna be alone?


Alone, alone
I don't wanna be alone
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
It's taking all this work


Work-Jars Of Clay

Trinity

You got a way of living your way say I want that
I try to live my life for the people who need a come back
There's too many problems to think that you can fix me
My name is called the world and I'm dying of unbelief see
I'm the kind of person who's strong and wants to react
So feel me when I fight for the cause of bringing hope back
Don't ask me where I'm going cause I could never prove that
But I do have something to say


I am reaching from the depths of my soul
Hear me pleading I'm a child I'm the poor I am needing
To draw on your virtue you better believe it
Trinity don't say goodbye
And you know that time after time we will survive
That's why I'm still alive



Love and action takes the widow with her loss
True commitment takes the orphans pain because
Bridges broken their souls pourin out oh why
Our days are numbered by and still we walk this line




The words can't break your bones
So I release them in a song
Unbelief get out my head
You can't win cause I'm not dead
Prison step aside cause it's time for us to rise
All my people under fire you can bet this time that I will survive


Trinity by Paper Tongues