From Your Convenient Best Friend

Dear You

I'm not perfect
I'm not made of stone
though I'd like you to
believe I am. You stand back
and you judge me saying there's
no hope but you never even tried.

I'm not as hard as I've made you
believe. I've learned few people
really want inside. And the others
just want your ear and presence so
they don't feel alone. But little
do they realize how alone their leaving
me.

I've grown used to it, its no big deal.
Hurt me and I'll survive I'll get over
it. Hurt my friends, hurt the people I
love even though they don't love me, and I'll
be out for revenge I promise you.


No I'm not made of stone but I'm made of
the will to survive, to make it through
your blows and your words. I'll survive
what you all do to me, its ok I understand
why you do it. Your insecure and you don't
understand me, so your best way of handling
it is by attacking me and blaming me for the
state of your life.

Your angry because I understand, your angry
that I don't blame you. You don't love me and
that's fine, I can deal with that.
Sure I'll be your best friend at your convenience.
Sure I mind that you take no thought of my feelings
or my pain but that's ok I've grown used to that.
So go ahead, hate me, yell at me, tell me I'm stupid.

Nothing will change I'm not letting you in until you
prove I can trust you, don't hate me for my choices
if you knew the reasons you might understand, then
again maybe not because your to selfish to ever see
anything but your own pain.

But anyways I really should go, you have need for my
ear again. I won't cry over this loneliness I feel its
quite alright because remember...I'm made of stone right?

I laugh at that because you really don't know.
Anyways.

Sincerely
Your Convenient Best Friend
Christa




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