goodbye for now

Dead air is mine, dead air is me.
I want to say the words but when
my mouth opens my words
freeze in my throat and are soon
lost victims of the wind.

If i really had the courage to say
what I truly thought it wouldn't
be what you expect. What I say and
what I think are two very different
things.

What I hate I will never debate because
I know it is never worth the fight to
the death for it. If I could show you
what I see you'd understand it to, you'd
understand the reason's why I keep my
peace. If you could only understand that
the things that cannot speak have the
loudest voices.

I've learned this so well because we have
been close companions. Silence is the
loudest microphone, watching is the best
piece of literature you could ever pick up.
Listening to nothing is the prettiest music
ever written. I wish I could show you, if
I could just paint a picture, or write the
notes of the music I hear, or pen the novel
of the words whispered to me.

But it's impossible, when I begin to write
my mind cannot put into words what I hear.
It's something you cannot confine to paper
or to our callus string of musical notes.


Something I discovered long ago was that
words should never be spoken unless carefully
considered. Silence always considers it's words
very carefully, the silence never speaks unless
you are listening, truly listening, and the
it whispers.

The quieter I become the more I discover. The
more I don't speak the clearer things become to
me. Occasionally it is lonely but I never think
about going back.

Because I now see the dreadful truth of speaking
the dreadful truth of lying, the dreadful truth
of conforming instead of discovering.
It's impossible to return, sometimes it's beautiful
sometimes its down right terrifying, but it's
taught me to think of every single thing I say.
Every single thing I wish
Every single thing I love.
Every single thing I pray.

I know you are confused now, what I've said has
completely lost you. I knew it would, because
you see you have to stand on this side of the line.
The sidelines, its all right here, but you will
never understand until you come and stand with me
and see, instead of being the observed come be the
observer. It will save your life, I promise you.

Stop playing the game, and come and learn the rules,
no not their rules, the real rules. The rules that
the game creates while your playing, you'll be playing
along and never realize they've changed, but I do
because I'm watching instead of running blindly.
You'll never leave the game though, none of you will
because to you I'm the naive child who knows nothing.
You'll play and play till it kills you, and I'll
grieve for you...because I warned you.

Come to my side and you'll see it to.


(picture by http://fibulamim.deviantart.com/)